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// REVIEW: Don't visit Club Solus //

14 posts in this topic

// The website would be a basic Nexus site for reviewing restaurants and other establishments. The reviewer is used 'Shamoonbase', who has about thirteen hundred followers. //

Buckle up for a thrill ride on just why you shouldn't visit Club Solus.

Like, yeah, the decor is nice (though the music is a bit dated) but the staff? Oh man. I honestly feel sorry for that one rabbit chick, as the rest of the staff seem really incompetent.

I visit Club Solus a lot, usually with my pal Gronkey, but I figured I'd brave it alone and get an orange juice before heading back home. You know, instead of going to that grocery store down the block, I figured I'd give this place my patronage instead. Regrettable!

I go in, head up top and dip into the pool. You know, because they have a pool for some reason. I figured I'd grab an OJ after doing some laps, so head downstairs to order one. I don't throw some clothes on, because I'm literally covered in water and there are no towels or whatever, so head down in my shorts. I keep a revolver with me usually, but I'm not going to keep that by the poolside because some kid or whatever could pick it up and accidentally brain a Floran (LOL). So I head downstairs.

I see this cute robot girl - if you're reading this give me your number - and order an orange juice. I pay her the money, and walk up to this Hylotl chick who does magic or whatever, we talk about my awesome tattoos and rippling muscles. She seemed pretty nice. So I stand there, and wait for my drink. She gets held up by conversation and doesn't head to the bar.

Twenty minutes later, I call to the barman - a Glitch in a hoodie for some reason (I don't know either), and ask where it is. He demands I put on a shirt. Yeah uh, why would I do that? I wear a 600 pixel shirt, and I'm not going to ruin that with chlorinated water because the guy pouring some orange juice made up a rule. And he's insistent, even though I've paid for my drink, that I should put on a shirt. No way, pal.

He literally leaves the bar! and his boss comes over, a dog or something. I ask him about my drink and he called me an asshole for talking to his barman like that. What the fuck???? Who calls their patrons assholes for not being served the drinks they ordered? I asked him for my drink again, and he calls me an asshole and said he'd call the guard. Yeah, what the fuck about that, too?? "Sir, you're under arrest for paying for a drink and not receiving it." Yawn. 

W'allah! The only saving grace about this establishment is that barmaid. She came up to me as I was putting on my shirt and begged me to not post a negative review or anything. I don't know, maybe her wages would get docked or something. So I insisted she keep the money that she and not her boss decided to refund me. She obviously needs it if she works in an establishment like that.

Also, I saw a naked Floran in the swimming pool. Yeah, naked, dude.

I rate 0 stars.

// There is a space for 144 character replies. //

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10 minutes ago, Hjalmar said:

Snip snop

//User Gnengniegor replies //

Seems overly negative and frankly a bit unrealistic.

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//User DnteBldva22 replies//

I agree to their staff being utter trash. They don't pay attention to bottles being broken or anything.

Also, naked floran? I guess I'm comi-

//Character limit reached//

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// User th3sm0kst3r replies \\

What the fuck what the hell whys there a fuckin pool in a club

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// User SlyFox replies. //

Do not call me a mutt, a ****, or anything derogatory again.

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3 hours ago, PrivateNomad said:

// User SlyFox replies. //

Do not call me a mutt, a ****, or anything derogatory again.

// User Shamoonbase replies. //

I wouldn't need to if you give me the drink I paid for, dumbfuck.

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21 minutes ago, Hjalmar said:

// User Shamoonbase replies. //

I wouldn't need to if you give me the drink I paid for, dumbfuck.

// Reply //

Then don't call the owner of the club you're in something he finds bullshittingly offensive. Respect goes both ways.

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Just now, PrivateNomad said:

// Reply //

Then don't call the owner of the club you're in something he finds bullshittingly offensive. Respect goes both ways.

// User Shamoonbase replies. //

I still don't have my orange juice.

// The review is updated to be -1 stars. //

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// User averyshadyguy responds //

wtf racist

i wouldve thrown the orange juice in your face

// User averyshadyguy downvotes the review //

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// User SlyFox posts //

lol he got arrested in the same club

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//570n3cha1n replies//

Most of this is a lie. If you know anything about solus you know that is true. Funny thing is the day after he tried to rob us and was arrested.

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//570n3cha1n replies//

This character limit is forcing me to actually make it seem worse by summarizing, so good job on the character limit restriction there buddy.

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// User "Erica Fae" <efae_3200@solus.haven.nex> just left a reply! //

Zero stars? That's saddening to read, especially with the arguments used.

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// User Portabella40 replies \\

I saw "naked floran" and I got concerned for a second before realize that I usually take bath at lakes.

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